... which is RAPIDLY approaching...
And by the way... if I find out that ANY of you are doing THIS:

I will immediately disown you.
Love to all!
If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen...and replaced by exact duplicates." His mind sees things differently than we do, to our amazement and amusement. Here are some more of his gems:
1. I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2. Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3. Half the people you know are below average.
4. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8. If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
9. All those who believe in psycho-kinesis, raise my hand.
10. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
12. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18. Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
19. I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.
20. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23. My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
25. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28. The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32. The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
1. Can you cry under water?
2. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky
dunk."
3. How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?
4. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
5. Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a penny for
your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
6. Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried in for eternity?
7. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
8. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be
a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
9. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wakeup
like every two hours?
10. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
11. Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON T.V.?
12. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?
13. How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for
Miss America?
14. If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
15. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting
clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up
in the first place!
16. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply
press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
17. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't
fallen asleep yet.
18. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
19 Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can
in prison?
20. If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started
with something called labor!
21. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
I went to see Spiderman 2 at a local theatre today. I have to say I was really expecting the whole experience to be a bit less pleasant than it was. I saw Matrix:Revolutions in Turkey and the theatre was very uncomfortable, and the quality of the film was scratchy and washed out. I was kind of expecting the same conditions here, and was glad to be wrong. When you buy a ticket, the guy shows you a layout on a screen and shows you the available seats to pick from. You can also buy tickets online (and pick your seat too)... Come to think of it, it's fairly impressive that in a country where it seems technology has been kind of haphazardly strewn about, the system works very well. |
Amazing test....just follow the instructions as quickly as possible.
Do not go to the next calculation before you have finished the
previous one.
You do not need to write or remember the answers, just do it using
your mind.
You'll be surprised.
Start:
How much is :
15+6
3+56
89+2
12+53
75+26
25+52
63+32
I know! Calculations are hard work but it's nearly over.
Come on, one more.
123+5
QUICK! THINK ABOUT A TOOL AND A COLOR!
Scroll further to the bottom...
A bit more...
You have just thought about a red hammer, haven't you?
If this is not your answer, you are among 2% of people who have a different
if not abnormal mind. 98% of people will answer a red hammer while doing this exercise.