Monday, June 30, 2003

This was just sent to me by Justin (a friend of mine in GJ). I can personally attest to the trutfulness of these statements:

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real New Jersey driver
never uses them.

2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and
the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else,
putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you
have of getting hit.

4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it
and it will result in you being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork.
New Jersey is a no-fault insurance state and the other guy doesn't have
anything to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your
ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal
pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way
to scare people entering the highway.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are
apparently not enforceable in New Jersey during rush hour.

9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or
move over doesn't mean that a New Jersey driver flashing his high beams
behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even
someone changing a tire.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly. New Jersey is the home of the high-speed
slalom driving thanks to the State Highway Department, which puts pot-holes
in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.

12. It is traditional in New Jersey to honk your horn at cars that don't
move the instant the light turns green.

13. Remember that the goal of every New Jersey driver is to get there
first by whatever means necessary.

14. In the New Jersey area, 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a
polite New Jersey salute. This gesture should always be returned.

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