Thursday, March 24, 2005

Actual Conversations...

I've had two bizarre conversations in the past hour that I just have to share:

The first one was with one of the gate guards. There were a few cars in front of me, and I got a text message on my cell phone. You're not supposed to use cell phones at a checkpoint, but I had a few seconds so I hurriedly typed a reply. I was putting the phone down as I pulled forward and showed the guard my ID. He asked me if my cell phone had a camera; I smiled because this was the second time I had been able to use the line "No, and my camera doesn't have a cell phone" while pointing to my camera hanging on the passenger seat.

Guard: What do you use the camera for?

Me: [pause] Taking pictures? Are there other uses I'm not aware of?

Guard: [longer pause] Taking pictures of what?

Me: I don't know; if I knew there was going to be a quiz I would have studied. How is this relevant?

Guard: Sir, you are not allowed to take photographs at this location.

Me: I'm well aware of that, have you seen me using the camera?

Guard: I saw you on the phone, which you are also not allowed to be using at the ECP (Entry Control Point).

Me: [Looking in the rearview mirror, making sure we're not holding someone up with this highbrow conversation]. And you'll take my word that it doesn't have a camera in it, but you question the camera on the seat next to me?

Guard: [smirking] Ok, your point; have a nice day.

Me: Thanks! You too!

The next conversation was at the PX. A soldier in the checkout line across from me noticed my Hard Rock Cafe hat from Munich, and asked me if it was nice. I told him it was, and went back to checking out. He asked me if I saw David Hasslhoff while I was there, and I told him that I didn't, and resumed checking out. He then informed me that David Hasselhoff is a big musical star in Europe, but we Americans only know him as a great actor... i swear that's what he said. I asked him, "Great actor?", to which he replied, "oh yeah!". He then went on to tell me that he wasn't a big fan of his music, except for a few songs that had "surprised" him, and that he loved the songs that he did for the movie Eurotrip... and he "REALLY" like the song he did at the end of Baywatch Nights.

At this point I'm just wanting to get out of there as fast as I can... so I literally grab my receipt and move as fast as I can while lugging a footlocker and not knocking over anyone... as I'm walking across the parking lot I hear "Have a nice day", but I don't know for sure that it's anyone talking to me. I hear it again, and I turn and sure enough it's the David Hasselhoff fan waving to me...

Me: Thanks! You too!

Just another day in my life.

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